As I’ve been alluding to in my regular ol’ blawg of late, I am battling another bout of depression/anxiety, which has been doing a number on my self-esteem. I feel like I manage to muster a soupçon of confidence, only to have it dashed by what would ordinarily be a pretty inconsequential thing.
This has been more or less a lifelong struggle for me, and it’s only been in the past 13 years or so that I’ve acquired actually effective tools in dealing with it. It’s just remembering to USE those tools, which can be hard when you’re on the mental couch with your pint of mental Ben & Jerry’s and a mental “Party of Five” marathon is playing nonstop on your mental television set. To use the tools would require actually getting up off the couch and walking across the room to get them. And when you’re depressed, that’s not really that simple, no matter how many times people tell you to “keep your chin up,” or “get over it.”
But I’m getting off the couch. And damn it – I am awesome. I am a QUEEN.